There Are No Difficult Children

How to handle your child's tantrums based on their temperament

One of the most common childhood labels is “the difficult child,” “the angry child,” or “the stubborn girl.” These labels reduce a child’s entire identity to a single trait, as if it were a fixed verdict, overlooking their individuality and unique personality. However, as Milena explains, there are no difficult children— just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. The key lies in a child’s most instinctive way of responding to the world around them: their temperament—an innate personal style for navigating life.

In these pages, Milena guides us through the nine core traits that shape temperament—both in children and in ourselves— and provides a practical framework to help parents respond with constructive strategies. These traits include a child’s level of intensity, energy, persistence, sensitivity, perceptiveness, adaptability, regularity, as well as their openness to new experiences and predominant mood.

The goal is not to suppress tantrums but to understand them, recognizing each child’s individual needs and offering the right support. Through this approach, the author advocates for a parenting style that balances firmness, clear boundaries, and strong parental leadership while also fostering a deep emotional bond, trust, responsiveness, and mutual respect.