What Didn't Happen

How to heal the wounds left by abandonment, absence, and loss

When we reflect on what has hurt us in life, betrayals, wounds, and the weight of certain events often stand out as the most obvious sources of pain. However, if we look deeper, it is often absence, loss, and the things that should have happened but never did that leave the most lasting marks. The words left unsaid, the feeling of being unseen or insignificant, or even the
sense of not existing in the eyes of those who mattered to us— these silent wounds can cut deeper than any blow or insult.

How does what didn’t happen influence what is happening to us now? Its effects are subtle yet profound, lingering beneath the surface of our daily lives. In this book, Anabel Gonzalez explores the invisible impact of what never was—those missing moments, unspoken words, and absent connections that continue to shape our emotions, relationships, and sense of self. Sometimes, what didn’t happen is the missing puzzle piece that helps us truly understand ourselves.

Through three key steps—Entering without fighting, learning to see, and helping to grow—What Didn’t Happen offers simple and practical exercises based on EMDR techniques. It also includes The Journal of Nourishing Resources practice; a gratitude exercise that helps transform painful memories into positive ones. By focusing on small, bright moments in daily life, this approach fosters healing and self-awareness.